It's uncomfortable. For you, for me, for everyone. No one LIKES divorce. Sometimes it happens. Sometimes you realize this was something that no amount of marital counseling was going to fix. Sometimes it does. I am happy for those that can work through it. Sometimes it makes you come to a realization that, "I am not going to be any happier with this person 1 year down the road or 5 years down the road. This was a mistake. Sometimes it is a sad reality. Sometimes, your friend, whose husband or wife you may like, get divorced.
You may be that friend that is "caught in the middle." You may be that friend that hears the stories of one side or the other, perhaps either whom you were friends with first or whom you aligned yourself with. Either or, it puts the outsiders of divorce in the middle. Granted, the children of divorce have it bad, but so do the friends.
I have some great friends. You know why they are great? They can stand back and give me an objective of "my side of the story" and possibly (and annoyingly) give me a "look at it from this perspective" of how I relate a story to them. Of course I like to hear, "Wow, what an ass." Sometimes I need to hear a non-objective opinion as well.
I'm not a person who will blow smoke up your bottom. Sometimes, when relating a story from their marriage woes, I give a possible perspective they may not want to hear or see. I don't always side with the wife (usually my friend-sometimes the guy is my friend) point of view. I appreciate when they say to me, with all honesty, "Look at it like this." At the moment, I may not want to hear what may be another perspective, but a day or so later, I can appreciate it. Which is why I sometimes take a while to reply to what I feel is an email or text message sent just to annoy me. Sometimes the annoying person doesn't realize they're annoying you, on purpose.
One thing I can appreciate, and do, is the unwavering, honest, sometimes too honest, support of my friends. So if you are "in the middle" just know this. Your friendship to me, has, will, and will always mean much more to me than this trivial moment in my life. Don't stop being my friend.
Understand sometimes I may say something that, in the heat of the moment, may make you feel uncomfortable or you may not see it as I see it. I get that. I see it the same way when you're talking to me (men and women friends) about something about your spouse that is upsetting you. But I appreciate you standing up and saying, "You know what? I know you both. I am not choosing a side. I don't have a dog in this fight." Sometimes, loyalty to friends, both sides in a divorce, says so much more about who you are as a friend, than choosing a side.
But those that had a dog in the fight...I am thankful you stuck by me versus dropping me. That says something as well.
You may be that friend that is "caught in the middle." You may be that friend that hears the stories of one side or the other, perhaps either whom you were friends with first or whom you aligned yourself with. Either or, it puts the outsiders of divorce in the middle. Granted, the children of divorce have it bad, but so do the friends.
I have some great friends. You know why they are great? They can stand back and give me an objective of "my side of the story" and possibly (and annoyingly) give me a "look at it from this perspective" of how I relate a story to them. Of course I like to hear, "Wow, what an ass." Sometimes I need to hear a non-objective opinion as well.
I'm not a person who will blow smoke up your bottom. Sometimes, when relating a story from their marriage woes, I give a possible perspective they may not want to hear or see. I don't always side with the wife (usually my friend-sometimes the guy is my friend) point of view. I appreciate when they say to me, with all honesty, "Look at it like this." At the moment, I may not want to hear what may be another perspective, but a day or so later, I can appreciate it. Which is why I sometimes take a while to reply to what I feel is an email or text message sent just to annoy me. Sometimes the annoying person doesn't realize they're annoying you, on purpose.
One thing I can appreciate, and do, is the unwavering, honest, sometimes too honest, support of my friends. So if you are "in the middle" just know this. Your friendship to me, has, will, and will always mean much more to me than this trivial moment in my life. Don't stop being my friend.
Understand sometimes I may say something that, in the heat of the moment, may make you feel uncomfortable or you may not see it as I see it. I get that. I see it the same way when you're talking to me (men and women friends) about something about your spouse that is upsetting you. But I appreciate you standing up and saying, "You know what? I know you both. I am not choosing a side. I don't have a dog in this fight." Sometimes, loyalty to friends, both sides in a divorce, says so much more about who you are as a friend, than choosing a side.
But those that had a dog in the fight...I am thankful you stuck by me versus dropping me. That says something as well.
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